Bullying is not a normal rite of passage. It can have serious
consequences. You can help your children learn how to prevent
bullying.
™™ Help your children understand that bullying is more than
physical. It can happen in person or over the phone or computer.
™™ Keep open lines of communication with your children. Listen to
any concerns about friends and other students.
™™ Encourage your children to pursue their interests. Doing what
they love may help your children be more confident among their
peers and make friends with others with similar interests.
™™ Teach your children to take a stand against bullying. Tell them
how to stand up to those who bully if it is safe to do so.
™™ Talk to your children about seeking help from a trusted adult
when feeling threatened by a bully. Talk about whom they
should go to for help and role-play what they should say. Assure
your children that they should not be afraid to tell an adult when
someone they know is being bullied.
™™ Know what is going on in your children’s schools. Visit the
school websites, read the student paper if there is one, and join
the parent organization listserv or mailing list. Get to know other
parents, school counselors, and staff. Contact the school by
phone or e-mail if you have suggestions for making the school a
safer and better learning place.
If you suspect your children are being bullied, consider these
steps:
™™ Express your concern and make it clear that you want to help.
™™ Tell your children that bullying is wrong, that it is not their fault,
and that you are glad they had the courage to tell you about it.
™™ Work together to find solutions. Ask your children what they
think can be done to help. Reassure them that the situation can
be handled privately.
™™ Document ongoing bullying. Work with your children to keep a
record of all bullying incidents. If it involves cyberbullying, keep
a record of all messages or postings.
™™ Help your children develop strategies and skills for handling
bullying. Provide suggestions for ways to respond to bullying,
and help your children gain confidence by rehearsing their
responses.
™™ Be persistent. Bullying may not be resolved overnight.
™™ Stay vigilant to other possible problems that your children
may be having. Some of the warning signs for bullying may be
signs of other serious problems. Share your concerns with the
counselors at your children’s schools.
If you think that your children may be bullying others, work with your
children’s schools to address the issues. Remember that children who bully
are at high risk for engaging in risky or even criminal behaviors, and it is
very important in a bullying situation for the parents to act immediately.
™™ Talk with your children. Ask for their account of any situation for which
they have been accused of bullying. Be objective and listen carefully.
™™ Make it clear to your children that you take bullying seriously. Calmly let
them know that you will not tolerate this behavior. Help your children
learn that bullying hurts everyone involved.
™™ Develop clear and consistent rules for your children’s behavior. Praise
your children when they follow the rules. Decide on fair consequences
and follow through if your children break the rules.
™™ Spend more time with your children. Carefully supervise and monitor
their activities, including when they are online or texting.
™™ Be aware of who your children consider to be their friends. Find out how
they spend their free time.
™™ Build on your children’s talents and positive attributes. Encourage them
to get involved in well-supervised social activities.
™™ Work with your children’s schools to ensure the bullying does not happen
again. Ask your children’s teachers to keep you informed. Develop
strategies together to send clear messages to your children, and all
students, that bullying must stop.
™™ Talk with a school counselor or health professional. They may be able to
provide your children with additional help.
This information has been prepared and printed with permission of the National School Public Relations Association, Judy McDaniel and StopBullying.gov.
Education issues of interest to the Lake Forest family.
9 comments:
you say that bullying is wrong, but I know of a very concerning situation going on in the high school right now. A girl is being threatened to be beaten and to cause harm to her and her family, because this girl was robbed by this other girls brother who was arressted, so the sister is trying to beat and threaten the girl who was stolen from. yet when this issue was talked too, to the officer at the school he related that "oh it will blow over", after it was related that this girl has fought the other girl before, and is actively harrassing her and threating her and has harmed her. so what is going to be done to protect those students that ask for help and are told oh its ok don't worry about it.
Follow the guidelines above. If there are new developments, keep the SRO, principal or guidance counselor informed. Sometimes they believe a conflict is all over and are not aware that the antagonists are still causing trouble.
My son wrote a note to his counselor @ Chipman Middle School and received no response. The "Bully" threatened my son on the bus and said he was going to get his uncle to beat him up. My son wants to handle this himself so I am giving him support but not interfering but what can he do if there is no response from the very people he is supposed to rely on. He is only in 6th grade and already he has had items stolen by the 8th graders who seemingly have control of this school and do as they please according to my son. My son is not a pushover and is very close to acquiring a black belt in Tae Kwon Do but he has learned not to use it unless absolutely necessary, I have told him if the situation presents itself he is to use his training to defend himself. On another note, I wanted to contact one of his teachers but there is no current email directory on the website..... how is that conducive to parent/teacher communication. I am on state email and the teachers name did not come up on there either....
Principal Brown says: The staff directory was being fixed and updated by Denise Heald. She assured me today that it is now ready and up. A tip for individuals that get the old directory is to Refresh their browser. It was updated as of September 24th.
As for the Bullying incident, if the student has not received a response from his counselor, he should speak with an administrator or the Dean of Students. Unfortunately, there are several incidents of bullying that occur outside of our realm such as on buses, ballparks, and communities. We will always try to address any concern when we are made aware of it.
Thank you for your response, but isnt the bus an extension of the school???? I have another incident to relay to you. My son came home yesterday and informed me he had been "trampled on" in a stampede in the hallways in Chipman as he was about to leave for the day. He was literally knocked down and stepped on.... In the melee someone grabbed a library book he had checked out for a report that he has due November 01. I do not know if he got it back this am or not. My son is an excellent student but his opportunity to excel is being wasted by worrying what the heck can happen next. Is there no disciplinary control at all at this "school".... I am posting this as anonymous because I do not want anyone to know my sons name.
You're right. Bus is our territory.
As for remaining anonymous, it is difficult for us to investigate or deal with your specific situation if we don't know who you are, your son or the culprits who are causing him trouble.
We can't use this venue to solve these problems. I encourage you to discuss the specifics of your son's problems with Mr. Brown. He can't intervene if he doesn't even know about it. We don't even know what grade level or the location of the incident, so we can stand watch.
I also encourage you to talk with him about visiting the school and staying awhile to observe the way students move between classes. Some groups struggle to learn new routines. For instance, I was told today that the sixth graders seem to want to run everywhere. They are going to have to be re-taught how to properly and responsibly move from one area to another.
I agree, this is not the correct venue to address this concern but seemed to be the quickest way to reach you specifically. I just did not want to post my sons name on a public blog. I will be in touch with Mr. Brown but I want to be sure my son wants or needs me to pursue this further as we all know, even the most well-intentioned intervention could end up making a situation worse rather than better. As I stated previously he is in the 6th grade and he DID write to his counselor but has not rec'd any response to date. Thank you.
the buses are a problem, my son is in kindergarten and has an 8th grader telling him he is going to hurt him, why are kindergarten students on a bus with 8th graders? My husband has had to get on the bus in the morning and speak to the young man, now my kids are getting called names and being harrassed everyday. The buses need an aid or the bus driver needs to pull the bus over and get the problems solved like they use to do when we were on the bus. Carrie Custis bus 25
I've shared your concerns with Mr. Tyndall, our transportation supervisor, who is not familiar with your specific problem. Generally the little ones are separated from the older ones on those buses that carry elementary and middle school kids. He suggests that if the driver is aware of the problem but hasn't been able to resolve it that you speak to your child's principal. Or you may contact Mr. Tyndall directly at 284-3020 ext. 125.
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