Bullying and other issues

The other day I asked Doug Brown, Principal at W. T. Chipman, to identify for me the areas in which middle school children have the hardest time doing the right thing. He didn’t hesitate. He described two issues:
1. Bullying and
2. Speaking appropriately to the opposite sex

Bullying has been around for a long time, but only in the past few decades have we begun to understand the potential damage. School shooters and other criminals who have acted in revenge have claimed to be victims of bullying.

Middle school kids are the worst for being mean to each other. What might begin as light hearted teasing can turn into mean spirited bashing. Children are very sensitive at this age. Big boys physically, might still be little boys emotionally. If they cry when they get upset, their peers can be merciless. Any child who is a little different can become a target to everyone.

A bully is not necessarily big and strong. A bully is simply someone who makes fun or picks on those who are not like him or her. If they’re not in your group, you might make fun of them. As Mr. Brown says, “They believe they’re not hurting someone because they’re not hitting.” But they do hurt each. The hurt goes deep and can leave scars.

The inappropriate relating to the opposite sex is closely related to the bullying.

Remember when you were that age? It is awkward.

Girls start to mature physically before the boys and things start to blossom. Boys notice and before you know it, they’re making some sort of observation out loud. They may make fun of what their seeing. They may try to touch. This is demeaning and hurtful to the girls. Of course, all such behavior is inappropriate and school officials do apply consequences.

Today’s media exposes children to a lot of interplay and social intercourse that most adults would not engage in. Songs refer to women in derogatory terms, music videos are full of sexy scenes and dances appear to be similar to the act of procreation except the clothes are left on. Clothing styles are often skin tight with lots of cleavage. In spite of the fact that most children do not live in homes where that behavior is celebrated, they often attempt to act that way when they are with each other.

As parents, it is important to be cognizant of the fact that children learn how men and women should relate to each other from the role models around them. Please keep that in mind next time you disagree or the next time one of you messes up. The children are always watching and they learn how to handle life from your example.